The Way Things Might Have Been : New Moon
by D3c0d3x
Summary: What could have happened when Edward left Bella in New Moon. She didn't seek comfort in Jake but instead was visited by someone she feared who seeks revenge.
1. Chapter 1 : You Left In Vain

_You don't want me?_

_No. _

I kept replaying that last conversation in my mind as I blindly groped through the green trees and underbrush. Tears filled my eyes, spilling onto my face. I didn't even try to wipe them away, I was heartbroken – destroyed. Edward didn't want me. I felt foolish that I had ever believed he did want me. I hung my head, my face filled with chagrin. I don't blame him though; I am just a plain human. Nothing special about me at all, at least there isn't anymore… Edward made me special, now that he didn't want me anymore, I just became another human.

As I was thinking about all these things I didn't notice I had lost sight of Charlie's house. I spun in a few quick circles trying to remember which way the house should be when in a purely Bella moment, I lost my balance and went sprawling into a small bush.

"Great, just like me" I murmured aloud.

I stood up, brushing myself off – even though everything in me was just telling me lie there and let death take me. I knew I couldn't last too long without Edward…. or nourishment. But Charlie didn't deserve to lose me this way. And against all better judgment, I had promised Edward I wouldn't do anything 'reckless or stupid.' I suppose lying in the cold, wet leaves until I died would be reckless.

I stumbled around for a few more minutes until I glanced down and saw that I was on a familiar path. I walked for a minute or two, thinking about nothing at all – my mind had become blank and my body numb. I tried to put on a poker face for Charlie, but the tears kept coming.

Soon I could see the house, I knew I had been in the woods long enough that Charlie would be home very soon, if he wasn't home already.

I was no longer in control of my body, I couldn't feel my legs but I knew I was moving forward. Thankfully, Charlie was not home… yet. I stumbled upstairs and into the bathroom where I turned the shower on as hot as it could go.

I didn't realize how cold I was until I felt the warmth from the steam beginning to build in the small room. I sank to the floor beside the bathtub and sobbed.

After a few minutes of shivering and sobbing I climbed into the bathtub, still in the clothes I was wearing when he last touched me. I replayed that memory one last time before I vowed I would lock it away, never to revisit it again. It just hurt too much.

_He leaned down to lightly kiss my forehead. "Take care of yourself." _

I mentally locked that memory away, the distant look in his eyes, the way it felt as he pressed his marble lips to my forehead one last time… I decided to try and focus on the good things that happened between Edward and I to get me through the night.

I remembered our meadow. The first time I saw him shy from his human façade. How he smelled. How he used his crooked smile to get his way from me and how it worked every time. How he dazzled me, frequently. I couldn't help but chuckle as the memory of our prom came to mind. How he told Tyler that I was unavailable that night and every night after. My chuckling soon stopped as I bitterly remembered how available I am. Totally available but too destroyed to even breathe normally. In a fit of anger and rebellion I climbed over the porcelain wall of the tub, fully clothed, and dropped into the shallow water.

_This is stupid,_ I thought bitterly. Without any warning the mental drawer I had stuffed that last memory of Edward into flew open, flooding my mind as a choked sob escaped my lips. _Don't do anything reckless or stupid. _

I was furious with myself, embarrassed that the promise I had made merely fifteen minutes earlier now shattered. I pulled my soaking shirt over my head and shrugged out of my jeans, throwing them over the tub wall with a satisfying wet plop.

I knew I'd have to clean up the water on the floor before it ruined the wood, but at that moment I didn't care. I sat there with the water running over my broken body sobbing until I realized the water had run cold.

I knew Charlie had to be home now. I stood and turned off the water, realizing that it was all for nothing because I was just as cold as I was when I walked out of the… No. I will not remember.

I shut my eyes tightly trying to block the rush of remembrance that was threatening to come. After a few moments I opened my eyes and busied myself getting dressed. I glanced in the mirror and was shocked that I didn't recognize myself. My eyes were red and swollen, but yet somehow bleak and almost dead. My skin was sallow, I looked sick. My hair was laying on my back in a tangled mess, soaking through my shirt. _This will help_,I thought bitterly as I tried to piece together a story for Charlie.

I took one last deep breath while my hand rested on the doorknob before wrenching it open and walking to my bedroom.

I knew the sobbing would resume once more when I entered my room, so I did it with closed eyes, hoping that Charlie wouldn't venture in anytime soon.

As I blindly walked into my room the familiar scent hit me, the scent I've grown to love over the past months. Although it wasn't as potent as having him beside me, it would suffice. I walked towards my bed hoping to find solace and comfort beneath the quilt that I was swathed in night after night as he shared my bed, always being careful that I didn't get chilled from his ice cold body.

I didn't make it to the bed but collapsed into another fit of sobs a few feet away. I sat with my legs crossed, head hung for a minute until pulling my knees up to meet my chin. This is how I sat for what seemed like hours. The sun was fading from the sky… twilight once again. _Their_ favorite time of day. With a sigh I began to stretch my stiff legs when I stubbed my toe. I quickly cupped my foot in my hand biting back the explicative that wanted to burst out.

I laughed in spite of myself, only someone as clumsy as myself could ever stub their toe on a flat surface.

"Wait a minute…" I said aloud. How _did_ I stub my toe on a flat surface? I swept the tears from my face and rubbed my eyes to clear them before looking closer at the floor, I rubbed my hand over the boards in front of me until I found the culprit, a loose board. I wondered how I never noticed it before, surely a loose board this close to my bed would send me sprawling every time I got close to it. After all I was a magnet for danger, as I thought of the night he had told me that I was a danger magnet pain swept through my already shattered heart.

I leaned forward examining the loose board a little closer… as I pushed on the opposite side it lifted up a little more, enough to slide my fingers under and yank it up. I was surprised that I had managed lifting the board off without getting a splinter when my smug thoughts quickly crashed around me.

Lying under the floorboard I found three things. I could only think of one reason they would be here, now. Once again, without warning… that drawer I had closed hours earlier flew open... _It will be as if I never existed_. My memory recalled his voice to perfection. I realized he must have hidden these three things that tied me to him, things I would undoubtedly cling to with every ounce of strength I had left. He had wanted it to be a clean break.. Nothing to remember him by but my human memories that he thought would fade with time. What he didn't know is that my memories of him were burned into my mind forever. They would never fade and I would never forget.

No, the only thing he accomplished was ruining me for anyone else, not that I would _ever_ want anyone else but him as long as I lived. But even if I had, I knew I could never move on enough from him to let anyone else love me. I wasn't worthy of love, I couldn't hold _Edward_… just thinking his name brought fresh tears to my eyes.

I gently picked up the items to examine each of them. I saved the worst for last, knowing that I wouldn't be able to put them down when I looked at them. I slide my fingers along the surface of the CD, allowing the memories to wash over me. Sobs racked my body as I remembered the first time he had spent the night lying beside me, watching me sleep.. humming me to sleep. That was the first time I heard my lullaby.

I grabbed the rest of the items and tossed them on my bed as I stumbled up to my feet and made my way to the CD player. With a shaking hand I pushed the button to open the drawer, as it slid out I knew it would be empty because I held the last CD it ever held in my hands. I carefully placed the CD into the empty slot and pushed it shut. In a few seconds my head was filled with the pristine, flowing melody. My Lullaby. I turned the volume up a bit so I could hear it clearly across the room, pushing the repeat button as I turned, knowing I would never turn it off again.

I sank into my bed, pulling the quilt closer around me as I sadly examined the remaining items. The plane tickets I had received from Esme and Carlisle on my birthday. _My Birthday_.. the memories of that fateful day made me shudder. The way Jasper looked as he lunged at me flashed before my eyes. _I wish he would have bitten me_… tears slid down my flushed cheeks and landed with soft splashes on the envelope.

I slowly wiped away the tears and reached for the items I never wanted to put down…. Pictures… pictures of Edward, my love, my life, my heart. When he left he took half of me with him, he took half of my life, half of my thoughts and all of my heart. All I was left with was an empty spot in my chest, it felt hollow and filled with sorrow as I stared into his topaz eyes that the picture had captured forever. I took the picture that was my favorite of him. His eyes full of amusement at my childishness with my new camera. I stifled a giggle as the memories of that day flooded my mind, only to be remembered once again that I would never relive moments like that with _him_.

I stuffed his picture in my back pocket, deciding to keep it with me forever as I yet again wiped my puffy eyes and decided I should venture downstairs before Charlie came up here. I tried to brush through my almost dry tangled locks before making an appearance, but nothing helped. With a defeated sigh I walked towards the door.

Charlie had to know something wasn't right with me tonight, I'm sure he heard the sobs I vainly tried to hide. As I walked down the stairs my suspicions were confirmed as he fidgeted with the remote, trying to act too natural at my arrival.

"Hey Bells, I heard you showering, fall in a mud puddle?" Charlie said with a nervous chuckle. I bit back the sarcastic remark that bubbled up. I knew he was just trying to ease himself because of my weird behavior, I bit my lip and nodded, a split second later realizing he couldn't see me, and so I mumbled "mm."

I didn't expect my voice to crack over a simple mm. I was hoping Charlie would miss it, but he turned his head in my direction as I quickly turned on my heel to head to the kitchen to fix dinner. I knew he would be hungry.

As luck would have it I went sprawling through the doorway into the kitchen vainly grabbing at something to catch my fall, only to grab the edge of the doily that lay on the table against the wall bringing it and the glass fisherman figurine I'd gotten Charlie for Christmas when I was five crashing to the floor around me.

I felt the fractured glass pierce my palms as a wave of nausea swept over me when the rust and salt smell I've come to detest reached my nose.

All of the tears I was holding in came bursting out at that moment. Charlie rushed to my side as sob after sob tore through me.

"Honey, it's just a few little cuts – it's alright. Don't cry.." Charlie was never good with emotions and I felt even worse having to put him through all of this. He had one hand on my back trying to soothe me as I heard a sound I never thought I'd hear again.

Hope shot through me, filling every fiber of my being as soon as I heard the sound only a vampire could make. The hope was then crushed a fraction of the same second later when I realized that it was not a good sound to hear coming from a vampire… I glanced up as I heard it again, a soft feral growl.


	2. Chapter 2 : Transformation Of A Lifetime

_**A/N: Here is the second chapter, still in Bella's POV. Third chapter should be posted tonight :) Enjoy! Review if you wish, I love your feedback! Any suggestions are welcome! Thanks for reading!!**_

_What Happened Last Time…._

Hope shot through me, filling every fiber of my being as soon as I heard the sound only a vampire could make. The hope was then crushed a fraction of the same second later when I realized that it was not a good sound to hear coming from a vampire… I glanced up as I heard it again, a soft feral growl.

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My head snapped up and I saw her. I was seized with fear in an instant. She was crouched low by the kitchen table, not ten foot where Charlie and I were on the floor. Her bright red hair was swept behind over her shoulders wildly, making her look even more menacing.

Without thinking I sprang to my feet pulling Charlie up with me, I shoved him behind me and glared at her.

"Victoria" I hissed, my thoughts finally making sense, she had come back for me. She was finishing James' job.. but why, I wondered as everything fell silent.

She broke the silence with her childlike tinkling bell laugh. "You didn't honestly think that I would let you go free after your Edward" pain shot through me as his name passed through her lips… "KILLED MY MATE!" she shrieked.

Then it all came together, realization must have been written all over my face as she regained her calm and began to snicker. She knew that I knew what was going to happen next. She was going to kill me in revenge for Edward killing James.

The memories of that night in the ballet studio washed over me as I bit back my tears. I remember the look in James' eyes as he lifted my already weakened, fragile, human arm to his mouth to pierce my skin. The flames that licked through my veins were the worst part of the entire experience. I would never forget that feeling, the feeling that for so long I was ready to have engulf my entire body just so I could spend eternity with the one I love.

I was bitterly pulled to reality as I realized that would never happen now, he left me… he didn't want me. One sob escaped my body and earned a satisfied smirk from Victoria. She thought I was afraid of her, I wasn't. I was only afraid of what she would do to Charlie, he didn't deserve any of her wrath.

"He left me." I stated softly but with a firm edge. I knew she would have heard me if I whispered it. "He's not coming back, so by hurting me you will not be affecting him at all." That was the first time I'd admitted the truth. That Edward didn't love me anymore, and it pierced through me like a knife.

I was shocked when Victoria all but doubled over with laughter. "Oh you really think that's the truth?" I could only nod. "Well Bella..." she spat my name through clenched teeth "If you think that then you are sadly mistaken human. I've seen the way he protected you from my James. Believe me; this will hurt him more than it will hurt you."

She stalked toward me but I threw my hands up and yelled "WAIT!" She froze and took a deep breath while her eyes slid shut; I had forgotten that my palms were sliced open from the glass I had fallen into. I quickly closed my palms and shoved my hands behind my back, hoping she wouldn't lunge.

"That doesn't help you any, human," she purred.

I knew I didn't have much time before her blood lust completely took over all her senses so I had to act fast. I then remembered that Charlie was still here, our entire exchange took a mere minute but it was enough for Charlie to form his own plan. I knew he would never escape unscathed if she didn't stop him in his tracks. He reached for his gun but I swung towards him grabbing his hands.

"Dad, don't" I shook my head as my voice shook with fear and understanding that this may be the last time I see my father "Listen… please dad, bullets won't hurt her. I love you and I'm so sorry," I managed to choke out in a whisper.

He looked deathly pale and I didn't know how long I could hold Victoria off, once she lunged I knew we would never escape.

I slowly turned toward Victoria, rage boiling inside of me, narrowing my eyes into slits. I started to form a plan… "Edward doesn't want me anymore Victoria. You'll be doing him a favor by killing me off, and then he won't have to deal with the fact that he hurt me. You'll be doing more damage to him by letting me live."

She seemed to think about this for a moment, but we both knew she wasn't leaving here without my blood. My skin had been broken and she was moments away from the bloodlust overpowering her.

"W-w-wait" I stuttered "Let Charlie go. He didn't do anything to you or to James." I was trying to organize my thoughts as a different plan formed. I only had one goal then, _Save _Charlie. "He doesn't mean anything to Edward, so he fits nowhere in your revenge." I spat at her.

She seemed to contemplate this for a second before grinning widely. Dread bolted me to the floor as peace spread over her face. She had made her decision. She knew what her plan was and I could read it all over her face.

"You're right," she sang out.

I felt Charlie relax a little bit beside me and heard him release a breath he was holding for I didn't know how long. I knew that this wasn't over yet; I only hoped she would allow him to walk away.

"I'm not going to kill you little human. No, if Edward truly left you then you're right – I would be doing him a favor by handing you death…" I swallowed loudly when she took a half a step closer, another wave of realization and dread spreading over me squashing all the relief I felt when she muttered those words. "No, I'm going to let you live forever." She sneered when I gasped.

She was going to turn me. She wanted to torture Edward forever by allowing me to live forever. A wave of irony washed through me as I realized I would finally be getting what I had wanted for so long… to be with Edward forever… but now, he didn't want me. I tried to take calming breaths, I needed a plan. I couldn't let her turn me. Not now, not after I had nothing left to live for. _Does she even have the control to stop?_ I wondered silently. I hoped she didn't, and once she sank her teeth into me she would kill me.

"Fine," I spat, as a strange feeling of courage rolled through me. "Take me, turn me. Do whatever you want with me, just let Charlie go. He doesn't know anything about you and he hasn't done anything wrong," I begged.

"Wrong again, child," she smiled sweetly. "I will turn you, but I will kill _Charlie_ first." Using her vampire speed and strength she grabbed Charlie and returned to her place a few feet away from me in the blink of an eye. Charlie was shocked and terrified; I could see it in his eyes.

The tears rolled down my face in earnest now as I realized this was all my fault, Charlie shouldn't be suffering because of me… now he was handed a death sentence by a creature he didn't even know existed. I was ashamed of myself and horrified at the situation at hand. Now I could only hope he didn't suffer.

"N-n-no.. please don't.. please Victoria.. let him go," I managed to choke out through sobs. I sank to my knees on the floor. "Please," I whispered.

I looked in the eyes of my father, whom I would never see alive again. He looked surprisingly understanding. "It's okay, Bells" he said, trying to be calm but the crack in his voice gave him away. "Be strong, honey. I love you more then you know." He clenched his jaw trying to be strong for me. Trying to show the one horrible excuse for a daughter that he was okay, I thought bitterly.

"Dad, I love you so much. Thank you for everything you've done for me. You're the best dad ever," I said, my voice filled with honesty. I could see his eyes glistening with tears that he refused to let fall. He tried to swallow his emotions, but one tear slid down his cheek… It wasn't a tear of sadness though. It was a tear of joy, joy that he knew how much I loved him. I immediately regretted all the horrible things I said to him and opened my mouth to apologize once more…

"You're pathetic," Victoria hissed and with a movement that was too fast for human eyes to comprehend, she snapped his neck and let him fall to the floor.

My will crumbled the moment his limp body hit the floor. I screamed out with a cry of pure pain and let the anguish wash over me. I screamed over and over again, sobbing loudly. Knowing that no matter how much noise I made, no one would here my pleas for help, and then hoping that no one did. No one else needed to die at the hands of Victoria because of me.

Victoria pulled me to my feet, holding my shoulders in both her hands; my body was limp as she lifted me off the floor with ease my head lolled forward as I dangled in front of her. She laughed lightly before plunging her razor sharp teeth into the flesh of my left shoulder. She bit right through my clothing, crushing the bone with the strength of her jaws. I cried out in pain as I heard the sickening snap of my collar bone. As she drank from me I could feel my life slipping away. I didn't even try to hold on. I didn't know how long it took for a vampire to drain a human's blood, but I hoped it wasn't long.

She removed her mouth from my shoulder with a growl as she placed her lips to my ear and whispered, "Have a nice eternity with the one who never wanted you." Then she was gone.

I fell to the floor on my back as I vowed that once I became a vampire I would hunt her down, rip her apart and burn the pieces, laughing as I danced around her pyre.

The flames began coursing through my body, making me cry out in pain and anguish of what had happened. My thoughts became jumbled and I could do nothing but convulse and wait until the flames died out. All the while I was wishing I were dead, knowing that nothing could be worth this pain, thankful that she didn't turn Charlie as well, knowing that I would never forgive myself for being the cause of his death.

I clamped my jaw shut, determined not to cry out anymore, just in case someone heard and came to my aid. I couldn't risk being in a hospital, surrounded by humans when the transformation was complete.

I tried to concentrate on the path of the coursing flames. I could feel them slowly burning through my body, moving down my left arm and taking up residence in my fingers. I couldn't move for fear of making it worse and crying out, so I lay there, in the kitchen on my back allowing the heat to consume me. I could feel my heart racing, pumping the venom through my body and I willed it to speed up and complete this process quickly.

As I lay in silence I heard my lullaby playing. I forgot I put it on repeat in my bedroom. For once I was thankful that I had stubbed my toe, because that moment led me to make the decision to listen to the CD. The CD full of Edwards's composures that I knew would be the only thing to get me through the next three days of this unbearable torture. I listened intently as I imagined him playing my lullaby, allowing myself to forget that he didn't want me, to think that he still loved me knowing I would regret it later, but not caring… this is what I needed to do to get through the awful pain I was silently enduring.


	3. Chapter 3 : Bitter Sweet Reunion

_What Happened Last Time…._

As I lay in silence I heard my lullaby playing. I forgot I put it on repeat in my bedroom. For once I was thankful that I had stubbed my toe, because that moment led me to make the decision to listen to the CD. The CD full of Edwards's composures that I knew would be the only thing to get me through the next three days of this unbearable torture. I listened intently as I imagined him playing my lullaby, allowing myself to forget that he didn't want me, to think that he still loved me knowing I would regret it later, but not caring… this is what I needed to do to get through the awful pain I was silently enduring.

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_**A/N: This is now Edward's POV. It will probably go back to Bella's POV after this chapter because I can write her POV better I think… but you be the judge :)**_

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*EDWARD'S POV

I was pacing back and forth in the Alaskan snow, not realizing I was actually digging myself a trench until two small hands plucked me up, only to be set on even ground with her. My little pixie sister, Alice, was looking at me with sad eyes.

"Aww Alice… don't start again please. I can't take it anymore," I said while reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose.

_There he goes pinching his nose again… _She then pictured tearing it off and throwing it across the open field we were in with all her might.

I almost chuckled at the way her mind worked. With my vampire power of being a mind-reader it was hard not to know exactly how the minds of my siblings and parents worked. Alice's was one of my favorites. But now was not the time to laugh.

I had been away from my Bella for all but half a day. I was miserable. After her birthday party that we, the stupid vampires, tried to throw for her, the perfect, beautiful, pure human, I knew we couldn't endanger her any longer. It was too much a risk; I knew she had to hate me for it. She wanted me to change her, have her give up on humanity and risk her soul for me… I am no where near worth the type of love she instilled in me. I couldn't do it – I couldn't allow her to lose everything she was, soft, warm, Bella for me, the stone cold vampire.

I quickly shook my head trying to clear my mind of the images of Bella that relentlessly surfaced.

"What Alice?" I said bitterly. I didn't mean to, it wasn't her fault.. this was my fault, all my fault.

She then turned the full power of her potent stare on me and demanded that we return to Forks.

_EDWARD!_ She shrieked in her mind _Don't you dare make me drag you back there.. and don't doubt me.. I'll do it if I have to rip you to pieces and cart you back that way! We didn't do this right, Bella is going to be hurting, Edward. I, her best friend, should be there when my stupid brother broke her heart!_

"ALICE!" I roared, stalking closer to her putting mere centimeters between us. She didn't even flinch, she knew me too well to know I'd never hurt her. I stepped back and inhaled a calming breath, missing the burn that usually lingered at the back of my throat from Bella's mouthwatering aroma.

"Alice…" I said calmer. "Please.. you know that this is… this is so hard already Alice. Please.. we were only hurting her, you know that. We can't go back, I promised her. I can't break my promise." I pleaded. As I said these words if I could cry my face would have been streaked with tears.

The way Bella looked as I lied to her over and over again, filling her head with the thoughts that I didn't love her. The blacked kind of blasphemy that existed on this planet, I had created. To think that she believed me in mere minutes broke my unbeating heart.

I couldn't shake the deadened look in her eyes as she began to cry, believing every lie I was feeding to her to save her soul. She was broken, shattered, and it was all my fault. I knew she would be okay though. She had to be. I couldn't be responsible for any more pain in Bella's life.

I looked at Alice and saw that she was sobbing dry sobs; her mind strangely quiet, her grief too immense to put into thoughts or words. I took a step towards her and pulled her tiny body into a hug.

_Look at what I've done to my family_ I bitterly thought to myself. I couldn't believe all the pain and trouble I've caused in such an incredibly short time.

_I miss her_… I pulled back from the embrace enough to look into her eyes and nod my head, she knew I felt the same.

_Maybe Alice could go back… I know I can't because once I see her I'd never be able to leave again, even if it would be better for her. _I mentally scolded myself for being such a selfish creature. _No.. Stop it, I can't let Alice go back.. I would never be able to let _only_ Alice go back.. Maybe I could just go and check on her to see if everything was okay… _

As I was running through all my options I heard Alice's sharp intake of breath and felt her go rigid in my arms. I pulled her back and looked in her eyes, knowing that they would be glassy and detached.

I pulled the nature of her vision from her mind as she was witnessing it.

_Bella was in the forest, she was in a bush…_ Why was she in a bush I wondered, then realizing she probably fell on her way out of the forest that I left her in, pain shot through my chest as I thought of those last moments… I was pulled back into Alice's vision when I saw the red headed creature I thought I would never see again. _Victoria was watching her from afar, watching her stumble around the forest finally making it to her house… _the vision skipped forward… _Victoria was watching Bella and Charlie in their living room from outside the kitchen window. Bella turned to rush into the kitchen, tripped and fell, knocking over a glass figurine. She cut her palms when she landed in the glass, as soon as the smell hit Victoria she leapt through the kitchen door, landing in a crouch as Bella looked up with a look of pure torture on her face._

"NOOOO!" I bellowed as the vision stopped. Before I knew it I was racing across the Alaskan wilderness towards the Volvo. I had to reach her before it was too… what if I didn't reach her in time? I knew I would be heading to Italy if I lost her. I couldn't lose her, I hated myself for making the wrong decision yet again, I thought it was so safe in Forks. I never expected, a hiss escaped my lips as I thought her name, _Victoria_ to come to Forks looking for Bella. But why, what was the reason? Unless… no, could I have missed something as detrimental as that? I must of, but how? Victoria must have been James' mate… that means, no.. Victoria is seeking revenge, mate for mate.

I was in the Volvo racing home to Forks at well over 140mph. I knew Alice would run to the house we were staying at and alert the rest of my family who would be on their way back to Forks soon, if they hadn't left already.

The entire drive I couldn't even think straight, I was dry sobbing, pain shooting through my empty chest. I had left Bella for her own good, to protect her from our kind… and what I did instead was leave her unprotected. I would never forgive myself for as long as I existed. I was the worst thing that ever happened to Bella, she was much better off never meeting me and my kind. I loathed myself and everything I'd ever done to harm Bella.

I relieved the night I almost lost her once before, the night that ended the day she spent at my house. We decided to go play baseball; I love how she was so thrilled to spend time with us, unafraid – so brave. _My Bella_.

I made the drive back to Forks in record timing; completing the entire two day trip in less than 10 hours. My phone was vibrating almost the whole time, but I refused to answer it. I didn't want to hear what I so dreaded, that I was too late. I couldn't be too late… I had to do one thing right for Bella. I had to save her.

I threw the car into park and was inside her door in an instant, not even trying to walk human speed so I didn't attract attention. The familiar burning in my throat was intense as I neared her, I couldn't see her but I could hear her strained heartbeat and I knew she was still alive. I can't describe the feeling that course through me at that moment. I also heard my music playing from her bedroom. I almost chuckled… how stupid of me to try to hide her things, I knew she would find them and I was so glad she did. The chuckle that threatened to escape was quickly stuck in my throat as I finally laid eyes on her.

Laying so still and pale I would have sworn she was dead if not for the heartbeat I heard; I collapsed to my knees on the floor when I saw that Charlie was lying, definitely dead, a few feet away from her.

_Is she in shock?_ I wondered.. what happened here? I could smell her blood.. but that was from the cuts on her hands from the glass Alice had seen her fall in. Why was she so still? I moved closer to her, before gently calling her name.

"Bella?" I whispered. She stirred at the sound of my voice and I was so grateful for that little movement I swept her up in my arms. She let out a blood curdling scream when I touched that my heart broke like shattered glass.

"Bella, don't scream – it's me, Edward Bella.. It's Edward. I'm so sorry I left you.. I'm so sorry," I choked out through sobs, I quickly glanced over her to see where she was hurt as she continued screaming and crying out in pain. I could smell Victoria on her and it sickened me to think she hurt her. Then I saw it.

Her shirt was torn in a crescent shaped mark on her shoulder.

"No" I gasped as I pulled her shirt off her shoulder to examine the damage. I then saw the light pink scar that was left of the bite. The venom had healed it already, sealing it into her body. She was changing.. Victoria bit her. I let out a growl that shook the windows panes with its strength.

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**A/N: Cliff Hanger! I hope you enjoyed it; next chapter will be in Bella's POV – although it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to write in Edward's POV. I am going to start on the next chapter now, I already have the plot in my head – but it is going to get complex and a little complicated so it might take a little bit to get it up, I'm gunning for tonight – but no promises. LOL Review if you wish :) **


	4. Chapter 4 : Mind Over Matter

**A/N: Okay, so I'm wondering if my timeline will match up correctly, but I think it will work. Here's what I'm thinking. Because Bella was still human at the time of Alice's vision and because she wasn't allowed to 'look' for her – Alice saw Victoria watching Bella from the forest moments before it actually happened. So – it took about 14 hours to get to Alaska from Forks the first time they went, and it only took Edward about 10 hours to get back… so Bella is about one third of the way through the transformation when Edward finally reaches her. Hope this makes sense… lol**

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_What Happened Last Time…_

_Edward's POV_

"No" I gasped as I pulled her shirt off her shoulder to examine the damage. I then saw the light pink scar that was left of the bite. The venom had healed it already, sealing it into her body. She was changing.. Victoria bit her. I let out a growl that shook the windows panes with its strength.

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Bella's POV

I thought I would die from the fire running through my veins. But no, dying would be bliss compared to this. I knew I would live through this,_ living as much as a vampire can_ I thought bitterly. I was mad, bitterly mad, furious even. I had begged Edward to change me when he still wanted me.. nut now.. it was too late.

I tried to hold in my sobs because I knew that if I let my composure down I would scream from the pain and I didn't want anyone to find me. No, I wanted – needed to suffer alone, and in silence.

I focused completely on the music I heard filtering from my room, down the stairs and to my strengthening ears. I could feel that my palms were healed, no more cuts to be seen. I knew that I was gaining strength, I could tell that if I wanted to move I could, but not without screaming.

I wondered what I would do after I found Victoria. As I thought of her a hiss escaped my lips… I was shocked to hear that sound. I tried to figure out how long I have been laying here, trying to do anything to keep my mind off the awful burning.

I thought about how I fell when Victoria dropped me; I wanted to figure out how I was positioned so I knew which way to look for a window. I figured I was sprawled just inside the kitchen, so if I looked to my left I would see wall and to my right I would see window. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, slamming them shut as soon as I saw it was dark out. I didn't know what hour but I almost screamed in pain from opening my eyes.. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to move.

My thoughts drifted to Charlie, but I couldn't go there yet. That memory needed to remain unvisited because I couldn't deal with the pain of the fire creeping through my veins and the pain of grievance that was sure to double me over when I finally allowed myself to think about it.

I thought back to the first day I met Edward. How I thought he hated me when he didn't even know me, and how I thought I stunk that day in Biology class when he moved as far away as possible and did everything but clamp his hand over his nose in disgust.

I almost giggled when I thought about the irony there. I didn't stink, but was instead the most delicious thing he'd ever smelled. He wanted to kill me, not because he hated me but because my blood sang to him. I mentally sighed at all the things that had happened in the last week.

I didn't want this, I didn't want to become a vampire when I couldn't share it with Edward. After I destroyed Victoria I was planning on seeking out the Volturi myself. I remembered the day we were on my couch watching Romeo and Juliet - Edward's silky smooth voice breathing Romeo's lines into my ear as we watched. Edward told me that if after I died, which he was planning on happening when I was old, he would travel to Italy and seeking out the royal vampire family that policed their race. He said that they would kill any vampire who was a threat to their secretiveness. The golden rule of vampirism was to stay hidden. Don't let humans know they… _we_ exist.

I hadn't thought my plan through much more then that when I heard a car screech to a stop in front of the house. I briefly wondered how I knew it was in front of the house and instantly knew that had it stopped two houses down the street I would have known. My senses were already greatly improved. I heard the whoosh of air as the front door opened and shut in a split second.

I held my breath, thinking that Victoria came back to finish me off. A small part of me wished this was true and she wasn't just here to torture me further. I lay deadly still in hopes she believed she went too far and I was dead…

I was doing really well playing dead until I heard the sound that made my heart race.

"Bella?" a voice whispered. I pulled in a soft breath and my chest hitched as that melodic voice danced to my ears. I knew exactly who it was and wondered why he ever came back, I briefly wondered if maybe he really did love me, when I remembered… Alice. Of course, she would have seen Victoria changing me. He didn't come back for me at all, he came back because he felt guilty.

All of these thoughts ran though my sharp, new mind in a second. The next thing I felt was the pain intensify a thousand times. It felt like hot pokers skewering me over and over. I didn't even have time to clamp my muscles down before a blood curdling shriek escaped my lips. I tried to cut it off but I couldn't, the pain was too much and Edward was here now, no one else would stumble upon me. As this realization hit, I let all the screams out I had previously repressed. Even though it didn't make the pain any less, it gave me something to do. I kept screaming as I heard Edward tell me not to scream, that it was just him. I knew it was him, that was the problem… he came back to ease his guilt, not because he felt anything more for me than as a weakling that needed his protection. _Not anymore_ I thought. _As soon as I'm a vampire I'm killing Victoria and getting on the first plane to Italy. You won't have to deal with my weaknesses or your guilt any longer. _

I couldn't help but mentally scream that he put me down, it hurt too much being in his arms, the fire was intensified and it reminded me how much I used to love being there. I wanted to be left alone on the floor… he knew I was changing, Alice had to see this is a vision, that's the only reason he would come back for me. I kept mulling this over in my head until I felt him pull my shirt aside to examine my shoulder when she had delivered her bite.

"No," I heard him gasp, and then I stopped screaming. He didn't know… _He didn't know?_ How could he not know? Why was he here if not to try and stop Victoria from attacking me and killing Charlie… Charlie. Another mangled scream escaped my lips when I remembered my father, lying dead across the room, dead because of me. I tried to form words, to tell Edward to put me down, to leave, to let me suffer alone, that I didn't need his pity or guilt, but all I could manage were screams and sobs.

I felt his arms under me as he pulled me to his chest and stood up. I couldn't help but breathe in his delicious scent. It was magnified with my new sense of smell and I loved it. It smelled like honey and sunshine. It was sweet and light, perfect in every aspect. I couldn't imagine a better smell. I wondered how humans would smell to me when I was finished. Then we were flying, Edward was running, out of the kitchen and into the woods. I managed to squeak out a small "no" as we left Charlie behind.

I wanted to pass out and seek refuge from this pain. Nothing cooled me off, not Edward's ice cold, marble arms, not the cold whip of the wind as we cut through the forest; nothing. I was like a ball of fire. I imagined I could melt metal with the heat running through my veins. I wanted it to be over, I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up, that's when I remembered that I would never sleep again.

I remember the last night I slept, when things were still 'normal,' when Edward still wanted me. He crept into my window that night, and snuck up beside me as I read in bed. I was ecstatic to see him even though he'd only left 30 minutes before. One second I was reading Wuthering Heights, and the next a cool arm was snaked over my waist, I gasped and looked over only to find myself an inch from Edward's gorgeous face and totally mesmerized by his liquid topaz eyes. My breath caught in my throat as he brushed his cold lips over mine, and pulled back… always leaving me wanting more.

That night was perfect; it was the next day that my world crumbled. I couldn't even think about the day Edward told me he was leaving, that we were too different species and he didn't want me anymore. I sobbed softly as tears slid down my face.

I felt cold fingers on my face catching the tears and I realized we had stopped running. I was on something soft. A bed maybe, I wasn't sure. I wondered where we were and realized we must be at the Cullen mansion in the woods. I felt strangely confused and frustrated at being here. This was the last place I wanted to be, they all left me, why did they have to come back and bring me here. For what? So they could leave after I was changed? What was the point of this? I was absolutely furious that he would have brought me here. Despite the protests from every cell in my body I made myself move to sit up, I wanted to be out of here. I couldn't be in this house, no, I wouldn't let them see me so vulnerable. Where I would go I hadn't a clue, but I had to be out of there.

As I moved to sit, I felt to iron hands on my shoulders forcing me to stay. "No Bella, love you can't move. It's almost over, I know it hurts but the worst is over." Edward whispered softly.

I felt suddenly angry and let out a growl at this new emotion, who did he think he was to force me to stay against my will? I may be a weakling now, but in few hours I would be stronger then him.. then he would feel my wrath. _Stop it Bella. _I thought. _What's wrong with you? You don't want to hurt him.. you're just out of your mind right now. _I took a few deep breaths and settled back down into the couch. I assumed I was in Edward's room, on his black leather couch.

I felt hands stroking my face and fought the urge to move towards his touch, seeking comfort. "Bella, love.." He choked out. "I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I thought you were safe here. I never thought Victoria would come back here. Oh Bella, my Bella.. what have I done." I could hear his tearless sobs and instantly wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him no, that this wasn't his fault. I needed to absolve his guilt, he was a perfect creature, beautiful and wonderful. He didn't deserve to hurt, it was my fault I was just a weak human, I didn't have anything to keep him, nothing to hold his interest.

I tried to tell him no, but could only shake my head. I began to cry harder, the tears spilling from my eyes over my cheeks and onto beautiful, pale fingers.

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Edward's POV

I had to get her to safety, we couldn't stay here. I picked her up, her scent as potent as ever, but now it wasn't completely human, I could smell the vampire in her and it made her scent that much sweeter. I ran out the kitchen door and into the safety of the woods, stealing one more glance at Charlie's body and completely forgetting the Volvo on the street.

The whole run there I wondered how she would ever forgive me. I only wanted to keep her safe, instead she was tortured and robbed of her soul. I wanted to scream and cry, destroy everything around me until I felt better… but I knew nothing would help, and I was holding my angel in my arms. My soul.

I lay her on my couch in my room. We wouldn't be able to stay here… once my family arrived and Bella was okay to leave – we would have to flee. It wouldn't look good at all, I could picture it now. The talk of the town, The Cullen family killing Charlie and stealing away his daughter.. I knew that's not what happened but what else would it look like? Maybe we could come back to 'visit' or something, once Bella was well, come back and clear our name. We couldn't allow suspicions to arise.

As I sat there I strangely found myself remembering the last night I spent with Bella. But something was wrong… I could remember that night extremely well, vampires never forget anything – but this memory, something was different about it… it was … cloudy almost.. like I was remembering it though plastic wrap. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the only thing I can describe it as was cloudy. I felt surges of joy, contentment, and bliss as this memory continued to play before tapering off as Bella fell asleep.

I didn't understand it at all, I continued to think it over, trying to figure out what was different about that memory, when I saw Bella crying. I reached for her face to wipe the tears away, she shouldn't be crying. I was so confused that she was crying, I knew it must be because of the pain, but she looked so sad. I couldn't shake the feeling of confusion until frustration took its place. I was frustrated that I couldn't comfort her better, that I couldn't take this pain away from her and leave her in peace. This wasn't supposed to happen, she wasn't supposed to hurt like this. _My poor Bella_.

I wanted to scoop her up and hold her to myself like I used to when she was sad or scared. I used to soothe her, but now all I do is cause problems. I should just run away, I should just get up and leave, but I couldn't. Ironically as the thoughts ran through my mind Bella stirred. She tried to sit up, and I noted that she was moving a lot faster than a human would. _It's almost over_ I thought bitterly. I was quicker than her though, "No Bella, love you can't move. It's almost over, I know it hurts but the worst is over." I whispered in her ear.

I was so angry that I caused her this pain. It was strangling my dead heart. Then she let out a growl, I was astonished that the sound came from my beautiful Bella. I instantly knew she must hate me. How could I be so stupid, she thought I didn't want her, she believed I didn't want her anymore, I had to fix this.. and quickly.

Sobs racked my body as I tried to find the words to make it okay, "Bella, love... I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I thought you were safe here. I never thought Victoria would come back here. Oh Bella, my Bella.. what have I done."

She began to shake her head at me, but it wasn't because she didn't believe me, as I had feared – but because she didn't want me to feel guilty.

"No love, I do feel terribly guilty for leaving you, but not in the way you are thinking.. Bella, I love you much more than you know, I only left to protect you, I will never forgive myself as long as I exist for doing this to you. I'm so sorry Bella. I just…."

I stopped mid sentence as my thoughts caught up with me. How _did_ I know that she didn't want me to feel guilty, I focused intently, thinking maybe I would be able to hear her thoughts. I was a mind reader, but Bella was always blocked, I could never hear her. That was what intrigued me the first day I laid eyes on her. The lack of her thoughts and her scent.

I quickly shook my head to focus on the present, the memories could wait. I focused again and I couldn't help but feel something in my mind. I felt, crowded? No, that's not the right word. I felt… completed. But I didn't know I was incomplete before. I knew Bella completed me and without her I would feel empty, but I never noticed this in my mind before. I quickly sorted though all my memories, thoughts and feelings that were my own and found that I had a few that didn't fit into any category.

One of the memories I couldn't place was the last night I spent with Bella in her room. Suddenly it dawned on me… it wasn't my memory. It was Bella's memory! It was a human memory! I gasped aloud as I wondered how this could be. I rehashed the last few minutes I spent with Bella, trying to find something, anything else out of place.

_Oh My._ When I was thinking about running away, Bella tried to get up… _is this even possible? How? …. Could she really? No… impossible.. _ My thoughts were incoherent at this point. I couldn't even begin to imagine what this meant if it were true.. but was it true?

_Only one way to find out…_I thought. _ …Bella? _I called out unsurely with only my mind.

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Bella's POV

I lie there crying, trying to figure out how I could possibly tell him not to feel so guilty, that it wasn't his fault, that he shouldn't be beating himself up over this.

"No love, I do feel terribly guilty for leaving you, but not in the way you are thinking.. Bella, I love you much more than you know" I was shocked that Edward knew exactly what I was thinking, and I wondered if he could hear my thoughts now. But I quickly realized that wasn't right because he would have heard me be so angry and would have responded to the questions of where we were. He would have said something sooner if he could hear my thoughts, wouldn't he? "I only left to protect you, I will never forgive myself as long as I exist for doing this to you. I'm so sorry Bella. I just…." He suddenly stopped and I wondered why.

I couldn't fathom how he knew exactly what I was feeling, I tried to think of how he could have known and finally decided that he could read it on my face, I was my mother's open book after all.

Then I heard it, clear as day... in that perfect bell voice that I'd grown to love immensely over the past months.

_Bella?..._ he called to me, I gasped loudly as I realized that he didn't speak my name, he thought it.

**A/N: YAY! I love this chapter :) One of the really fun ones to write, I hope you caught all the similarities between Bella's POV and Edward's ;) This was a toughie to write, I wanted to it match up as good as possible. I know it's another cliffhanger – but this was really the best way to end it! Hehe, review if you wish! More to come tomorrow!!**


	5. Chapter 5 : Do You Hear What I Hear?

_What Happened Last Time…_

_Bella?..._ he called to me, I gasped loudly as I realized that he didn't speak my name, he thought it.

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Bella's POV –

My breathing quickened as I gasped for air. _Did I just hear his thoughts? Is that possible?_ I felt waves of relief coursing through my as I thought that maybe that was my vampire power too… maybe I would be a mind reader. I was quickly running though how much fun we could have, both as mind readers… my breath hitched in my throat. _Stupid Bella._ Of course he isn't going to be with me. He's only here to ease his guilt… then he will leave and I can hunt Victoria and go to Italy.

I began contemplating exactly what I would do to Victoria when I finally sunk my teeth into her…

_Bella…? Love… can you hear me?_ The liquid silk voice called to me again. I struggled through my thoughts to try and locate my voice. I wanted to call out to him to tell him that I could hear him, but I couldn't form the words.

I felt a hand in mine, surprised at the feel of it. I knew it was Edward's hand, but it didn't feel cool. It felt, almost… warm. I knew the transformation was almost complete; between the feel of Edward's skin and the fact that the burning was actually beginning to fade. I felt relieved that this torture would soon be over.

_Bella… _ I heard again. I could feel the tension and pain in his voice as he mentally spoke to me. _Edward.. _I cried. _Edward, I can hear you but I can't tell you that I can_. I was so frustrated that I couldn't make my mouth work to tell him I could hear him and not to stop. I never wanted to his voice to go away. I heard him gasp and wondered what happened. I was immediately on alert.

_Bella, calm down love… I can… I can hear you…_

I froze in shock. He could hear me? Edward could hear me? _You can hear me?_

"Yes," he choked out, out loud. "I can hear you Bella.. you can hear me?" _Yes… _was all I could manage.

Edward began to sob quietly at my side and I squeezed his hand and wound my fingers around his.

My head hurt, how could I even tell my head hurt with all the burning? _Love, it's almost over – it has to be, you're doing wonderfully, you're going to be perfect. _Why did he care? I wondered.. I never got to project my thoughts to Edward because as that moment I heard a car fly up the long driveway.

_Who?_ I asked.

_Our family_ was his only reply.

My mind began racing ahead at a speed that I could barely keep up with, _Our family…the Cullens? They aren't my family._ I bitterly thought.

"Edward!" I heard Alice trill. "Edward I called you a million times! Ohhh Bella! Oh she's beautiful Edward! Better than my vision."

"Alice, how long?" Edward asked tensely.

I heard the silence and imagined Alice standing there in front of Edward, small hands balled into fists concentrating hard to get the specific time I would awake.

"That's exactly what she looks like.." Edward chuckled.

I gasped. Now he could see my thoughts? _How am I doing this?_

_I don't know love, we'll figure it all out. Don't worry – we have forever, Bella._

I loved how he caressed my name, he didn't just speak it, he felt it. _Wait forever? _Was he going to stay? My mind sped up again.

"Bella slow down, _I_ can't even keep up with you like that." Edward said out loud.

_Sorry… _ I tried to calm myself.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Alice screeched. "You can hear her?!? I didn't even see this in my vision, how could I not see this…" Alice was trilling words out so fast I couldn't comprehend them. I briefly wondered if I would ever be able to do that.

_You already do, love._ I smiled at that. I found myself actually enjoying that Edward could read my mind. And now that I could read his, this meant we could have entire conversations without anyone knowing.. _The possibilities are endless…_ I thought. But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself again…. He's not staying I remembered as a sharp pain that had nothing to do with the burning shot through my chest.

In a second Edward was beside me. _No Bella. I am staying, I will never leave you again. Love, I am so sorry. I only wanted you to have a normal life. We put you in danger every second we were with you. You are so extraordinary Bella, I do not deserve you. Especially now, that I've cause you so much pain. I hope you can forgive me even though I do not deserve it at all. I promise you this; I will kill Victoria the second I know you're adjusted and okay._

_Edward, stop. You don't have to stay for me. It's ok. _I tried in vain not to think of my plan to kill Victoria myself, then go to Italy.. I knew as soon as I thought it Edward would know and try to stop me. I didn't need him trying to intervene on my behalf because he felt guilty for this. This isn't his fault. None of it is, I made my decisions too.

"Bella, no!" he roared so loud that I even flinched. I hadn't realized Alice was still talking until she abruptly stopped.

"Edward wha…" she gasped without finishing. I sighed as I could imagine the vision she was receiving at the moment. As Edward read her mind and saw the vision, he passed it to me so I didn't have to imagine. It was actually very neat to see what one of Alice's visions looked like.

It was like you were there, but looking at the situation from afar. I was momentarily lost in the vision when Alice was by my side grasping my other hand that was draped across my stomach.

"Bella you can't be serious. You're not going to taking Victoria on yourself OR going to Italy. If I have to lock you up in a steel room under the house so be it I will."

_Ugh Alice, so dramatic. _I thought to myself, and to Edward.

Both Alice and Edward's grip tightened on me as I gasped. I heard my thoughts through Edward… but why? I didn't understand it and was growing quickly confused.

Alice was the first to speak and shed a little light on the situation. "Bella Marie Swan! I am not being dramatic!"

My entire body tightened as I realized she heard me, I could hear through Edward's thoughts that she didn't realize I hadn't spoken those words, but thought them. _I think I'm getting a headache. Can vampires get headaches?_

Edward mentally laughed at my question before he tried to explain. _Bella, try to send something to Alice… like speak directly to her using your mind only. _

_Ok…here goes nothing… Uhh, Alice.. testing testing 1..2..3.._

Edward burst out laughing, _very creative, love. _

_Well sorry, it was kind of short notice _I shot back.

"woaaaah.. Edward.. did she just.. did I just.. can I… can she…" Alice was speechless.

_Spit it out, Alice. _I chuckled… _this could be fun,_ I thought, directed at Edward only.

"Alice, I'm not sure how it works yet.. but it seems like Bella can speak to you through your mind." Edward said. "No, it doesn't work that way… Alice she can't hear you… screaming won't help! Alice stop!"

I laughed out loud when I imagined Alice screaming to me and Edward hearing her. _Wait, why can't I hear her through you?_ I asked Edward.

_I'm blocking her thoughts from you, she confuses me sometimes and I didn't want to make your _headache_ worse. _

_Oh, thank you.. I don't really want to be screamed at right now._ I tried to move a teeny bit to loosen Alice's death grip on my poor hand.

"Alice, let Bella's hand go, you're hurting her." Edward said.

_Thanks… _

"Oh sorry Bella! Edward, how is this happening?"

"I'm not sure yet Alice…. I wonder if she can speak to everyone this way…"

"I don't know, but we'll have to find out later – it's time… Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Em come up here it's time!" Alice shrieked.

_It's time.. what does she mean its time? _Then I felt it, the pain in my arms, legs and torso magnified a thousand times. I screamed out at the intensity of the pain, though I quickly clamped my mouth shut, successfully stifling the scream. My heartbeat picked up it's pace. I could barely discern one beat from the next, it was almost humming now. I thought it was going to burst from my chest and fly away. I almost wanted it to, it hurt so badly.

_Bella, hang on... this is the last part I promise. Just a few more seconds, love._

I let myself get lost in his velvet voice as I tried to disconnect from the pain. He started humming my lullaby and I mentally sighed. I hadn't heard him hum to me in what seemed like forever when it really has been less than a week.

My thoughts abruptly stopped as the pain disappeared along with my heartbeat. I was done. I heard Edward chuckle as I envisioned a baking sheet of golden brown biscuits being pulled from the oven.

I hesitantly opened my eyes and quickly drew in a breath that I knew I no longer needed.

**______________________________**

**A/N: Woow, that was a tough chapter for me to write. I was having some issues with how I wanted it to play out, and classes have been hectic. Work has been terrible, buuuut SPRING BREAK NOW!! Expect more chapters soon!! I hope you enjoyed this, Read and Review if you wish!!! :) I love seeing the reviews, I want to know if you like it or not! :)**


	6. Chapter 6 : Sight, Sound, & Smell

**A/N: Sorrrry it's been sooooo long! I thought spring break would be nice and relaxing.. NOT! Ugh, lol here is the next chapter… let me know if you have any ideas that you'd like to see happen :)**

_What Happened Last Time…_

_I hesitantly opened my eyes and quickly drew in a breath that I knew I no longer needed._

Bella's POV

I gasped as I took in all the colors around me. Colors that I didn't even have names for appeared before my new eyes. I felt like a child experiencing everything for the very first time. I could hear everybody's reaction to me – their silence spoke volumes.

I could sense the strain in the room as everyone wondered how I would react. I wasn't sure what to do.. I sat up, in one of those blindingly fast movements that should have made my head spin, but it seemed so slow to me now. I was amazed. I looked around at the seven people who were before me, taking each one in.

I wanted to hear what they thought of me, no sooner had I thought about it Edward let me invade everyone's thoughts through him. I briefly wondered how I would distinguish everyone, but their thoughts came in a muted version of their voice.

Jasper was wondering how I was controlling my thirst, I felt a little bit of the burning at the back of my throat, but I was too overwhelmed with my surroundings that I pushed it to the back of my mind.

Emmett was excited to have a new 'sister' as he kept putting it, I wasn't sure what was going to happen next, if I was going to go… so I didn't dawdle too much in his mind.

Carlisle was pleased that the entire transformation took only fifty five hours. _Only_ I scoffed as I remembered the torture I endured. I saw Edward wince beside me as he relived it through my memories; I quickly pushed them aside also – not wanting to cause Edward pain.

_Oh my... she's beautiful! _ Was all Esme kept repeating. It wasn't until that moment I realized that the anonymous brunette beauty I'd seen in everyone's mind was me. I was a little shocked at this, I never thought of myself as beautiful, I was always too plain – but this girl, woman, that they saw before them was stunning.

Alice gasped and disappeared as a picture of myself floated to me from one of her visions through Edward. I was standing in front of a large mirror inspecting my features. I wasn't sure what happened for a second, until I realized that I wanted to see a mirror, therefore Alice saw me looking in a mirror – found it to be a good idea and went to fetch the mirror. I was privy to Alice's visions because I was in Edward's mind.

I sighed outloud as I realized how utterly confusing this could become. Edward chuckled and I threw him a glare, but stopped as my eyes fell upon the most breathtakingly, heartstoppingly, beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Now I've seen Edward before obviously, and I always thought he was the most beautiful, but with my new eyes he was incredible.

I could see the individual hairs on his head that were different colors to give him the bronze color, I could see how impossibly flawless his skin was, so smooth and pale. I couldn't pull my eyes away from him, even as I heard Alice enter the room again.

I wanted to touch him, to feel his skin that could be nothing but soft because it looked like silk. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair as I breathed in his scent. His scent. It was then that I first really noticed it. I smelled it as he held me while I was changing, but now it was even more potent.

He was like bottled sunshine and honey. I took a deep breathe trying to get more of his heavenly scent. I finally stopped tracing his features with my eyes and looked into his eyes. His expression was unreadable… _Unreadable, hah.. not!_ I thought as I listened for his thoughts. He flashed my favorite crooked grin and I felt my knees go weak. _How is that possible?_ I thought as he chuckled.

As soon as I read his thoughts my existence fell into place. His thoughts were colored with love. Love for me, his Bella, as he kept repeating.

_You love me…._ It came across as a statement, not a question, because there was no question about it anymore.

_Bella I have loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. I am so sorry that I left, I wanted to give you a normal life, something you couldn't have with me here. I never meant for you to get hurt, love. You're my everything and I could never leave you again. Please forgive me…._

I couldn't even make my thoughts coherent to answer him. In a fraction of a second I was in his arms, he saw what I wanted as I thought it and was ready to catch me as I fell into him.

Dry sobs racked my body as I wept with my face against Edward's neck. I knew his family, _our family_, was standing there watching me, and if I could blush I would have been a thousand shades of red, but I couldn't help it. The love I felt for Edward and the love he felt for me was so powerfully overwhelming I could do nothing but let the emotion take over me. I wondered what I was doing to Jasper as I saw he had his arm snaked around Alice's waist though Edward's mind.

I felt Edward pull his hand from my head, where he was soothingly stroking my hair, to politely motion for our family to give us a few minutes alone. I was instantly grateful.

_I love you_ he said in our new means of communication.

_I love you_ I replied, completely blissful that I finally fit in. This was the life I wanted, this is what I felt that I was born to be. Some people are born to be painters, some teachers, some are born to change the world – but I, Bella Marie Swan, was born to be a vampire. _Edward's vampire_.

I could feel Edward smiling against my hair as my thoughts organized themselves, I chuckled because I expected this entire change to be incredibly difficult and confusing, and although the circumstances should have made it even more confusing than I expected—what with the Cullens returning in the middle of it, and us sharing our minds—it was very easy, almost effortless actually.

I pulled back to look into Edwards eyes. They were black as pitch with a few golden flecks in them. I knew I was beautiful now, but nothing could ever compare to what Edward was. I knew even as a vampire, his vampire, he would still be the better looking party.

_Shh, not true at all, love. _He turned us towards the mirror and I was shocked. Standing before me was a stunning couple—they were both _equally_ beautiful. I was shocked that I could actually look this flawless and so well put together. I briefly wondered what I would look like with Alice's touch and thought about asking her for a **small** shopping trip. As soon as I thought it I wished I could take it back. I looked at Edward and he just shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head as we heard Alice screech out a "YESSSSSS!" from downstairs. Edward showed me the vision she just had which pictured us in a mall, arms laden down with bags and boxes. I let out an audible groan.

"Not now, Alice" I said in a normal speaking voice, knowing she would hear me. I was once again shocked as my voice trilled out. I imagined I looked shocked because Edward just pulled me into his arms once more.

"Don't worry love, you will get used to it – I promise." He whispered in my ear.

The burning in the back of my throat worsened a little bit and I winced.

"Please go hunt" I heard Jasper beg from the living room. I guess my thirst was affecting him as well.

_Edward? _I questioned.

_Of course, Bella_ was his response as we turned and jumped out of the open window. I was thrilled at my newfound speed and agility. I could walk without tripping, and I could also leap and run! It was awesome; I couldn't help but let a small giggle bubble through my lips.

I grabbed Edwards hand as we neatly landed on the ground. He lifted our entwined hands to his lips to place a kiss along my knuckles before we sprinted for the forest.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed that chapter :) it's a little short – I know.. but more to come!! Stay tuned! Review if you wish, I'd love to know what you're thinking! We can't all be the new Bella, all mind readerish and such ;)**


	7. Chapter 7 : A Sense of Belonging

_What Happened Last Time…_

I grabbed Edwards hand as we neatly landed on the ground. He lifted our entwined hands to his lips to place a kiss along my knuckles before we sprinted for the forest.

**Bella's POV**

After our hunt I managed to snag two buck and a small mountain lion. I know why they are Edward's favorite now. It was surreal hunting with Edward while we were inside of each other's minds.

He said I was a natural hunter, but I think it's because I could see and hear what he was doing.

We were walking back to the house at human pace so I could take in all the new colors and sights. Everything was beautiful, much more intricate then I could ever have imagined. I could hear Edward's muffled laughter as I mentally commented on things.

_Sorry love, it's just incredibly amusing seeing everything for the first time again._

I smiled as my thoughts were colored with the love I felt for Edward.

We were walking along, hand in hand, in our own little world until a sharp gasp bought me back to reality.

My head snapped up and for a moment I was surprised that we were at the house already, until I saw Alice and immediately understood why she was gasping.

My clothes were completely shredded and I was covered in blood, grass, and dirt. Now, when I said I was Edward thought I was a natural hunter—that didn't mean I wasn't still a little clumsy. It would take some time until I could go on hunting and come out looking absolutely perfect as Edward did.

I looked up at Edward and was instantly lost in his eyes.

_My Edward…_

_My Bella. _Came the reply.

Alice quickly brought us to reality with her sighs. "Oh Bella! Look what you did! Well it's ok, not like those were the best clothes ever anyway… it's ok, we're going shopping tomorrow!"

_Shopping… Tomorrow_

_It's ok Bella, I'll talk to her._ Edward knew I was worried about interacting with humans so soon.

_Wait, I want to talk to her… _I quickly pictured me speaking to Alice through her mind for Edward's benefit.

_Ok, try love._

I turned my head so I was looking directly at Alice and I called out… _Alice…_

"I don't know if I'll ever get used to that," Alice said giggling. "Yes Bella?"

As I started to tell Alice that I wasn't sure about shopping tomorrow she got a vision that Edward let me see with him. She already knew we weren't going shopping tomorrow, and had assumed why.

"Drats… I forgot about that, well alright.. but as soon as it's ok for you to go we're going!" She trilled out.

_Of course, Alice_

She leapt forward and wrapped me in a pixie hug. "Oh Bella, I'm so happy! I've wanted to_ really_ hug you for so long!"

She quickly pulled away and began to speak again, but her eyes glazed over and I knew what was coming… A vision.

I saw it through Edward's mind again; it was of all the Cullen's coming out to meet me again, now that I was no longer hungry. Just as they were surrounding me in the vision, they were walking outside in real life. I was momentarily confused because the Alice's vision and my own sight were overlapping. Edward snapped that part of his mind off from me while I regained my senses.

_Whew. This could get really confusing_ I told him without looking his way.

_I can always block it off from you love, I think it might come in handy though, we'll see…._

He then imagined us, Alice, Jas, Rose, Em, him, and I sitting in the lunchroom, me and Edward talking without speaking and the other family members asking me questions through Edward's mind. It was a pretty cute image I have to admit.

I smiled and turned my attention back to my family that was almost to me. I really couldn't believe how amazing it was to exist in vampire speed, I loved it. You could do so much more in such a short amount of time. It was mind blowing.

I loved having Edward in my head; it was like he was always meant to be there… I couldn't really picture him not being there even though we just discovered this fun way of communicating a few hours ago.

"Oh Bella!" My new family said as they embraced me. This is where I belong.


	8. Chapter 8 : With You, Always

**A/N: I've been spending some more time on this fanfic site – reading other people's stories. It reignited my spark for this story and I pounded out this chapter in about 20 minutes. **** I hope you enjoy it. I don't really have a concrete story line in my head yet, so bear with me! If you have any ideas of where you'd like to see this go, please share! Thanks so much for sticking with me! **

_What happened last time…_

_I loved having Edward in my head; it was like he was always meant to be there… I couldn't really picture him not being there even though we just discovered this fun way of communicating a few hours ago._

"_Oh Bella!" My new family said as they embraced me. This is where I belong._

**Bella's POV**

Two days later I sat encased in Edward's marble arms. I had just come from Charlie's grave. The hole in my chest was rippling at the edges. Edward was suffering right along with me because I couldn't close off pieces of my mind like he could yet. He told me repeatedly that it wasn't my fault, but I never wanted to inflict harm on him.

The story was that someone had broken into Charlie's house, killed him and kidnapped me. The broken figurine that I smashed into just proved to the police that there was a struggle.

They had the story of my father's untimely death on the television almost every hour. Alice said she had a vision of someone finding him right after I completed the change. I wanted to ask Alice to show me the vision she had, but was petrified it would only make things much, much worse. Seeing Charlie like that – it made my heart hurt just imagining it.

I didn't need to have nightmares about that. As soon as the thought flitted through my head I regretted it. Edward was paying such close attention to my thoughts, incase he could provide something I might need, that he caught it.

I knew that I would never sleep once I was changed, but now, actually having the vast future ahead of me I realized that this day would just drag on forever. I didn't mean it to sound as unappealing and morose as it did, but Edward turned me around on his lap and placed his forehead against mine.

His golden eyes looked into mine and he poured all the love he had for me into that one gaze. I sighed happily as my thoughts changed to Edward. _My Edward._ I whispered through his mind.

I was beginning to feel the familiar burn at the back of my throat. _Feel like hunting?_ I inquired, raising my eyebrow at him.

_With you, always, love. _Was his reply.

I jumped up, once again surprised at my newfound agility and grace. I briefly thought of trying to execute a jumping jack, but banished the thought before Edward heard and laughed at me.

I turned my head towards him and could tell by his repressed grin that he knew. I trilled out a laugh and was off.

Just walking in this new body was amazing, but running, it was unreal! I ran and ran, laughing all the way. I could see in Edward's mind that he wasn't far behind me. I sped up and jumped into the trees, trying to hide from him. I stood stock still on the highest branch of a thick pine tree.

I merged my mind with Edward's so I could see what he was seeing as he was seeing it. I knew the instant he saw me because his thoughts were smug. He raced up the tree only to find a few small white rocks lying on the branch in the shape of a heart that I hoped he would mistake for flickers of my white skin. He chuckled aloud, looking above his head to where I was resting.

I blew him a kiss and took off again, only a few trees away. I giggled as I swung from the trees. I decided when I was closer to the ground that I wanted to let go and see what it felt like to fall through the air.

I held a breath I no longer needed and allowed my fingers slip from the branch I clung to, about 20 feet from the ground.

I glided lithely through the air before landing in a pair of arms. _You caught me_. I smiled at Edward. _I will always catch you, Bella. Where you are, I will be. _His words floated in my head like a cloud as he captured my lips.

He slowly slid my down his body until my bare feet rested on the silky ground. He backed us up until my body was snug between his and a tree. As we got deeper into the kiss, I became more and more reckless as always.

When his tongue darted out to caress my lower lip I used my temporary newborn strength to reverse our positions. I didn't take into account that the tree was also weaker than I. Much, much weaker. Only the sharp crack of wood and the crash of about three tons of tree smashing into the ground brought me back from Edward's appeal.

"Oops." I whispered aloud.

Edward's resounding laugh was so loud I was sure everyone back at the house would have heard it. If I could blush, I would have been a thousand shades of red.

I was trying desperately to keep a straight face, but with Edward still laughing louder than I've ever heard I had to let a few giggles escape. Once I started, I found I couldn't stop. We lay on the ground, hands entwined, laughing together until we could laugh no more.

After we were finally done, we just lay there in each other's company, enjoying the feel of our skin touching.

The day was turning into night, and I still hadn't fed. Simultaneously we rose, and slipped into the night to find dinner.


End file.
